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| Buffy: "When She Was Bad" an original fan story by Julie Fortune This story is a work of original fiction; however, it is set in the universe created by Mutant Enemy productions and the Warner Brothers Television Network. I make no claims to any copyrights regarding these characters. This work is written entirely for my enjoyment and the enjoyment of friends. Please e-mail the author with comments. Please do not reproduce or copy without the author's permission. "I dont know what Im going to do with these," Joyce Summers sighed. She ran fingers through her brown hair, lacing it with strands of stray packing material. "We just have too many things to exhibit, and they keep coming. Take this one, whoever packed it didnt even put a return address on it! How am I supposed to keep up with all this? Its just " She sat down and threw up her hands, a Hallmark drama-queen moment. Buffy looked up from painting her toenails a particularly icy cool shade of chartreuse and said, "Maybe the address is in the crate." "Maybe," Joyce said. "Boy, I'm tired. Look, would you be a dear and open it up for me? Ill go order pizza." "Pizza?" Buffy, whose mood had been sagging toward depression despite chartreuse toenails, perked. "Can we have one with fish?" "Anchovies. And yes, we can, so long as you keep them from swimming over to my side of the pizza. Ill make the call. You " Joyce handed Buffy the crowbar. "You open her up, and try not to destroy anything in the process." Buffy stood, careful not to smudge the positively Da Vinci job shed done on her toes; maybe a little glitter on top, or a floral motif, but that was just icing. It was the first coat that made all the difference, ask anybody. Ask Cordelia, she was the Goddess of Great Manicures. Provided Cordelia was talking to anyone ever again, which varied from day to day. Buffy twirled the heavy crowbar expertly, an iron blur flying from hand to hand. Dont destroy anything. Speaking of destroying, she was scheduled to meet Giles just after midnight and get with the Slaying program. It was supposed to be another Night of Power, or Prophecy, or something she got tired of keeping track. It lately seemed like every other night some major supernatural emergency festered. Buffy Summers, Psychic Trauma Surgeon. "Scalpel," she said, and jammed the forked end of the crowbar under the heavy wooden lid of the crate. It had that lived-in look of something that had flown halfway around the world; a lot of her moms packages for the gallery looked like that. So did a lot of Giles packages. The Sunnydale Post Office had to be a hotbed of gossip. She leaned her weight on the crowbar. The lid of the crate squealed up, revealing nails like iron teeth; she kept pushing, hardly noticing the strain, until the lid popped off. It might have smashed into the 14th century Chinese vase her mother had just unpacked, but she reached out and caught it in mid-air, avoiding the sharp gleaming fangs of the nails. "The operations a success," she said, and dumped the lid on the floor. Inside the crate lay layers of straw-colored excelsior, the same kind that littered the floor for days after one of Moms Grand Openings. And, under the packing -- "Too bad the patient's another box." She started pawing excelsior out in a happy mess to the floor. No return address floated to the surface. She lifted the second box out, frowned at it, and noticed it was old. Old, dark, covered with those kinds of non-readable letters that gave her the heebies and made her want to immediately toss it at Giles. There was a simple catch on one side, not even a lock. Might be something bad, of course. If it were one of Giles' packages, no way would she flip the catch. That would be just begging for hell on earth, or something. But this was Mom's package. Art. Knick-knacks. No world-destroying artifacts, at least not lately. So she flipped the catch and opened the box. It was a mirror. Gleaming, silver, beautiful. Her reflection stared back at her, wide-eyed, misty; there was some kind of white veil over the mirror. "Wow," she said, and set the box down to step back to admire it. It really was beautiful. Not a huge mirror just big enough to show her head and shoulders square, with that kind of really intricate silver stuff around the frame that probably made it mondo expensive. Mom would get a charge out of it, even if she was overstocked. There was some kind of smudge on the mirrors surface, like a fingerprint. Buffy took hold of the white gauze cover and rubbed it lightly over the surface, but it didnt seem to help. For a second she hesitated, thinking, I really ought to show this to Giles, and then she moved the gauze just a little bit, just enough to see the mark for what it really was. A moving point of black. Growing larger. The gauze whispered, lifted in an invisible wind, fluttered moth-wings against Buffys cheeks. She grabbed it and dragged it away from her face And saw herself in the mirror. Unshrouded. But not not herself The spot in the mirror became a whirling tunnel, reaching out of the mirror, a miniature tornado licking at her. Do something! Youre the Slayer, do something! She still had the crowbar next to her. One good hit would shatter the thing But she couldnt move. The tunnel found her. Licked her face, her eyes, slid over her like a tongue, sucked her down a throat of darkness. She never made a sound. She couldnt. "Buffy?" Joyce emerged from the kitchen, holding the phone in one hand. No trace of her daughter, but the stomach-turning shade of nail polish was where shed left it, along with the all-important cotton balls and polish remover. Excelsior littered the floor like torn Christmas paper. Oh, thank you, Buffy. Joyce sighed and tried not to think how long it was going to take to clean that up. Ive gotten old. When I was her age, I wouldnt have let a little cleanup get in the way of throwing confetti. The crate was open, and there was a mirror propped against the wood. It was draped in a thin white veil, maybe cheesecloth, something to protect the glass. Joyce hardly gave it a glance; there were a dozen mirrors already in the gallery, larger than this one. This one had backstock written all over it. Joyce edged by it to angle a look down the hallway. No Buffy. She turned her attention back to the pizza delivery service, and the problem at hand. "No, I think wed better make it a large. Half anchovy and mushroom, half Canadian bacon, black olives yes a two-liter bottle of --" Her voice died in her throat as her daughter came around the corner. She wasnt sure why for a second it was Buffy but there was something, something It was the way she walked. Under normal circumstances Buffy moved like a normal teenaged girl, a little more graceful than others, a little stronger. But now she glided. It was a catwalk, a smooth flow of muscle and purpose, and as Joyce stood there frozen, with the phone held forgotten in her hand, she saw Buffys eyes catch the light. They looked metallic. Brighter than they should. Focused to an unnerving intensity. "Buffy?" she asked. Her voice sounded weak and thin. Without thinking why, Joyce took a step backward, into the kitchen. Buffys lips parted in a grin. Her face deformed. Long ivory canines gleamed. Joyce screamed, threw the phone at her, and ran for the back door, but of course that was useless, even human Buffy could have caught her, and this this creature was faster than Buffy. Faster than Joyce. Faster than anyone. It cut her off from the door. "Buffy," Joyce said again, but she wasnt trying to make this this thing her daughter, she was trying to deny that it was happening. "Buffy, please " "Please what?" the thing that was not Buffy asked, in exactly Buffys bored-teen voice. "Please dont " "Dont what? Kill you? Well, much as I'm loving this quality time experience, that's exactly what I'm going to do. As slowly as possible." Joyce yanked open a kitchen drawer, where Buffy kept what she called her kitchen emergency kit. She took the cross in her left hand and the stake in her right, and prayed prayed that she wouldnt have to use but one of them. She turned the cross on Buffy as her daughter came for her, felt the power cascade down her arm and slam into Buffys chest, knocking her backward. Buffys metallic eyes widened and caught hellfire. "Gee, we were getting along so well, Mom," she said. "Well, Ill be back. You know I will, sooner or later. You always hurt the ones you love." As if she had all the time in the world, Buffy threw open the back door and stepped out into the night, looked up at the moonlight, and laughed. Joyce sank down to a sitting position in the corner, cross held to her chest, fighting to breathe against the terror. She heard the annoyed buzz of the pizza delivery person on the other end of the phone, but it meant nothing, nothing. "Buffy," she whispered numbly. It took her several more moments to begin to cry. She landed face-down in water. Buffy rolled and came bolt upright, gasped in a breath of murky air. She was sitting spread-eagled in a six-inch-deep puddle of water. Underground. In a cavern like the ones that ran under Sunnydale, the ones where the Master Enough. Derail the Bad Memory Express. "This is not good." She stretched out her arms and looked at the outfit she was wearing. It was soaking wet, but even dry it was right out of the Vogue for Vamps catalogue the black leather corset was poster-child Goth, and the miniskirt and the torn fishnet hose and the boots, God, in a lot of towns those boots would have been sold under the counter in a brown paper bag. Mom would have a heart attack if she ever She had to stop stressing about the drobe, because somebody was coming at her out of the shadows. Coming fast. Vamp. Big time. She didnt recognize him, but he was big and bad and would have been ugly even unvamped. She jumped to her feet the four-inch heels were a little more difficult than shed counted on and balanced there, fighting stance ready. Water dripped in her eyes, but shed learned not to let that bother her. God, if the clothes were bad, she was terrified of what her hair might look like The vamp started to say something to her, probably some crack about her corset, but then somebody else vaulted out of the shadows, quick, a blur. Knocked the vamp down. A delicate feminine hand produced a honking big stake and slammed it home, right in the heart. The vamp exploded in a shower of ash. Buffy brushed vamp from leather and said, conversationally, "Wow, thanks, but I pretty much had that one." The vampire slayer looked up, face gleaming pale in the shadows. Big dark eyes, high sharp cheekbones. Dark hair worn back in a businesslike ponytail. Great. Another one. First Kendra, then Faith, now who? "Dont freak," Buffy said. She was overly familiar with the freaking. "I dont think weve met, but Im Buffy " The other woman threw a stake at her. It spun end over end, streaking for Buffys heart. She caught it out of the air between two palms, looked at the construction, and said, "Not bad, but look, if you shave a little more here, youll get a lot better " "Buffy!" Willows voice, half-frantic; Buffy turned and saw her standing there, Willow but, well, not, Willow gone Goth, her long red hair curled into ringlets, her face white, heavy on eyeliner and black lipstick, black-painted nails. Oh, God. Not again. Werent they all done with Vamp Willow? And who the hell had brought her back this time? If it was Anya, Buffy was going to wring her skinny little demonic neck. "We have to get out of here!" Somebody appeared behind Willow just as she bent to offer Buffy a hand up. Blond guy familiar kinda cute, a dyed-blond haircut sharp enough to slice diamond "Sorry, love," he said, and the rich round Cockney accent gave him away. Spike. She was looking at Spike, but Spike wearing plaid? And blue jeans? Hiking boots? Now, that was just plain wrong. Spike shoved Willow, and she fell, screaming. Buffy grabbed for her and broke her fall, felt something cold hiss by her neck. Another stake. Damn it. This was getting annoying. "Hey!" she snapped, and spun around, toward the would-be slayer. God, she looked familiar too. She and and Spike It was Drusilla. Drusilla the vampire slayer? "Spike, stay out of it!" Drusilla yelled. Buffy looked up to see Spike leaning over the ledge, staring down; Willow looked, too. Willows eyes flashed red. She vamped and launched herself up, onto the ledge, after Spike. Okay, that was a minor wig, Buffy had already seen Willow vamp out before though it still made her brain run in little rat circles screaming Willow?!? The problem was Spike wasnt vamping. Because Spike was mortal. Not happening. Absolutely never ever happening. If she just had a second to think, to sort it out Willow slammed Spike against the wall, snarling; her teeth gleamed ivory in the pale light. "Uh, Will?" Buffy said. Pathetic, it sounded pathetic and lost. She looked back to see Drusilla aiming a crossbow at Willows back. "Hey!" She knocked the crossbow out of the way, sent an arrow flying off to shatter against rocks. Drusilla lost the weapon and took on fighting stance. She looked hairily competent at it. Well, this is different, Buffy thought. But at least its something I can fight. She made a little bring it on, sister gesture and took a step back as Drusilla obliged her. Big time. Flash-kicks, feints, a blur Buffy couldnt even track. So fast Too fast. It was over in two strikes. The first one caught Buffy on the side of the head she didnt even see that one and as she reeled to the side, still trying to figure out whether it had been a hand or a foot, the follow-up open-handed strike slammed into her chin and sent her flying into the wall. Ow. Oh, God, ow. She rolled onto her side and tried to breathe through the pain, come on, youre the Slayer, its just a little pain, but this was different. Really different. This hurt, in regular human non-Slayer ways. Drusilla stood over her. A pretty, striking, intense face, lit up now with a bit of killing joy. Focused, scary ecstasy. She lifted a stake and said, in that familiar dreamlike purr, "This ones for my Angel." Spike landed on her, hurled from somewhere above; they both went down with a splash and a couple of cries. Willows hand grabbed Buffys and pulled her to her feet with one effortless yank. Willow was breathing hard, her human face alight with excitement. This wasnt Vamp Willow, who'd been way weirder. This was her Willow vamped. Oh, God, Will, what happened to you? What "Better get out of here," Willow said. "Before you get in any more trouble. I told you not to play with them. I'm telling you, he's not going to be pleased." And she dragged Buffy back into the dark. Giles had gotten accustomed to a certain rather comfortable routine, insomuch as one could have a routine in Sunnydale, home of chaos and terror. He arrived home at six, after training sessions with Buffy; he fixed himself a lonely dinner and enjoyed a single glass of wine, or sometimes a good British ale, and sat down to read. These were books he would never allow Buffy or any of her friends to see; the prospect worried him considerably that in one of their frequent visits to his home theyd discover this neatly concealed bookcase inside of his armoire. He could only just imagine what hay Xander would make of learning that Rupert Giles mild-mannered librarian Rupert Giles enjoyed reading romance novels. It was a vice hed developed because of Jenny. Jenny had been an avid reader of what hed considered to be low entertainment science fiction, mystery, romance. Hed been alternately charmed and exasperated by her tastes, and shed taken a delight in shocking him by reading particularly lurid passages to him in moments of great seriousness. On the second day after her death, hed found one of her novels lying on the floor by his bed put there by Angel or dropped carelessly, hed never been sure . Shed turned down a corner in the middle. That almost destroyed him, that turned-down page; she'd never unfold that corner, read that page, and the next, and the next. The book was the final evidence that Jenny was gone forever. Perhaps it was because she'd never finished the book that he picked it up and read it read it straight through, stopping occasionally to stare into the distance when the heartache grew too heavy to bear. When he'd finished it, he'd gone to Jenny's executor and asked for all of her books. He was reading them in no particular order, just as the fancy struck him, and it seemed he could feel some of her whimsy in him, some of her delight. He still thought that the majority of them were a disgrace but enjoyable. When he reached the end of the library, he knew he would have to let her go. By then, perhaps he might be ready. Perhaps. He had just settled in his chair with a half-empty bottle of Samuel Smiths Pale Ale and opened Jennys well-thumbed copy of Scarlet Whisper when a knock exploded on the front door. Not Buffys knock hers was aggressive but more cheerful, somehow. This sounded frantic, a Xander-knock, perhaps. In any case, it was irritating and altogether the wrong time. Emergencies rarely happened so early in Sunnydale. He sighed, took a small sip of ale and put the book aside to answer as the knock came again. "Joyce," he said, a blurt of surprise at the sight of Buffy's mother on his doorstep. At night. Unaccompanied (unchaperoned?) by Buffy. In the next instant he took in her pallid, shocked face, her tear-streaked face, and all lesser considerations melted. "My God. What's " Dread struck him to the heart like a glittering shaft of ice. Please, no, let it not be about "Buffy," Joyce whispered. "A vampire " The word triggered him to realize it was not the safest place for her on the open doorstep. He drew her in and shut the door before he asked the question he dreaded. "What's happened to her?" She took his hand, a shocking breach of personal space between them they'd been ruthlessly circumspect about that and her skin felt cold to the touch. She shivered violently, though the California evening was warm enough outside. He retrieved the afghan hung on the back of the couch and tucked it carefully around her shoulders, and tried again, his voice sharp with tension. "What's happened to Buffy?" Joyce began to weep again, hopeless lost tears. She melted into his arms, her head on his shoulder. He felt the agony surging through her and wanted desperately, oh so desperately, not to hear what she next said. "She's become a vampire," Joyce whispered. "Oh, God, Rupert, what can we do? How do we help her?" Something broke in his heart, something fragile and irretrievable. He felt the shockwave of it, but strangely little pain; a heavy numbness settled over him. He knew the feeling. He'd felt it before, when he'd stood in the doorway of his bedroom amid fallen rose petals and seen the horror that Angelus had left for him. Jenny's eyes had been open, he remembered. Open and so very blank. This feeling was shock, of course. An old, familiar friend. He slowly pulled back from Joyce and held her at arm's length, staring at her face. "Did you hear me?" she asked. "We have to help her!" "You're sure about her -- condition," he said, though he knew she was. "I saw her eyes and the teeth she tried to " Joyce stopped, shivering harder. "I don't know what happened. Someone must have " "Yes," he said quietly. "Someone must have. Please sit down, Joyce." "How can you be so calm?" she screamed at him. The afghan fell to the floor as she buried her face in her hands. "Buffy's become a vampire, don't you understand that? She's she's " He understood it all too well. "Was she at your house?" "Yes. Yes, and then she left, I don't know where she went " "We must warn her friends. She'll go first to the easiest victims, to houses where she already has invitation. Or perhaps to the Bronze. Stay here, call Willow first." Yes, she'd go to Willow, to trusting, sweet, Willow whose friendship would blind her to the immediate horrible truth. Second, Xander, who might be unable to resist her even if he knew the truth. Third Third, she might come for him, if he couldn't find her first. "You have to find her," Joyce said, as if she'd read his mind. He blinked at her, momentarily losing his thought. "There must be something you can do. Some spell or something. To change her back." "Yes," he lied. "Yes, of course there is. We'll immediately start to work. I must get to the library. Call Willow, if you would. Has Buffy ever been to Cordelia's house, do you know?" "I don't think so." "Tell Xander and Willow to go there. Call Cordelia and give her strict instructions not to allow Buffy inside no matter the provocation. Include Oz as well. Get everyone together and then go there yourself, I need you out of danger." He had some calls to make of his own, but they weren't something he could do in front of Joyce. "Do you understand?" "Yes," she said faintly. "I think Rupert you will find her, won't you? Before something terrible happens?" He didn't know how to begin to tell her that it already had, more than she might ever imagine. All right, Willow was a vampire. Buffy had been there, survived that. It wasn't Willow who scared her right now, it was Buffy. Or rather, who Buffy was supposed to be, as implied by a leather corset and fishnet hose and thigh-high boots. The mirror. Okay, its the old mirror-mirror trick, ha ha, very funny, that one was old in Star Trek reruns. Everything here is the opposite of there, right? So Im Buffy didnt like where the thought was taking her. No, she definitely did not want to go there. -- Im a vampire. Except she wasnt. As Willow ran ahead of her through the dark, Buffy felt her own heart pounding, heard her breath rushing in and out of her lungs. She was alive. How long before, oh, say, Willow figured that out? Not good. Buffy saw her chance at a side tunnel, and darted down it, away from Will and whatever might be down that road. She needed some time to think, dammit. And to find Giles. Giles would know the sitch. Except, er, she couldn't show up as the foldout from Hooker Monthly. He'd totally freak. At least, she hoped he would. Clothes, first. Then Giles. She'd just made a plan, and a pretty fine one if she did say so herself. Which became moot as she rounded a corner and got slammed face-first to the damp concrete, a knee in her back and a hand squeezing the back of her neck like a vise. Oops. "Should have been more careful," a Cockney voice said, rich with contempt and satisfaction. "Here you go, Dru. This the one you wanted?" Spike. Spike was on her back. Oh, perfect. The footsteps coming toward her, that would be Drusilla the non-vampire. The Slayer, emphasis on the slay. "Can we talk about this?" Buffy squeaked. She didn't seem to have any special strength; Spike's weight felt like a ton of steel, and she had absolutely no leverage. "Look, I'm not " "Not a vampire," Drusilla said. "I know." Spike let go of Buffy's neck. She raised her head at a painful angle to look up at Drusilla, who was staring down at her with wide, haunted dark eyes. "The question is," Drusilla continued, "do I care?" "Dru," Spike said. His weight eased off of Buffy's spine just seconds before vertebrae popped, or so it felt. "Let's go easy about this." "I haven't killed her yet." "So you haven't." Spike stood up, leaving Buffy unpummeled; she cautiously got to her knees, which was actually a lot more comfortable than getting to her feet, given the boots. Spike's attention came back to her, focused more on the corset than her face. Same old Spike. "You're not Buffy Summers." "Matter of fact, I am," she said. "I guess I'm just not your Buffy Summers. Where I come from, I'm not a vampire, and I have way better fashion sense. Let me guess you must be Spike." His face went through a set of expressions she didn't think she'd ever see horror, shock, recognition. And then back to watchful. "You've got me confused with somebody else, love." "Yeah, sure. Let me go out on a limb here and say you're a Watcher." He was very silent, very still. So was Drusilla, who'd never taken those glowing eyes off of Buffy. Jeez, she was just as unnerving human as she had been vampire. What was up with that? Spike said, "And who's she?" "Drusilla's the Slayer." Spike opened his mouth, shut it, and looked at Drusilla. She looked back. "Look, much though I like Kreskining for you, it's not magic," Buffy said. "Where I come from, I'm a Slayer. I've got a Watcher. You're not him, by the way." "That's impossible," Spike said. "Yeah? If I'm a vampire, how come I'm breathing? Pretty much not a vamp thing, at least where I come from." Buffy looked past him at Drusilla, who was stalking around the tunnel like a lithe cat, watching her. "You said you knew I wasn't a vampire. Can you tell I'm a Slayer?" "Yes," Drusilla said petulantly. "I don't like it. I'm the Slayer, Spike. Tell her I'm the Slayer." "Of course you are, Dru, let's not take it to heart." Spike shot Buffy a warning look. "Yesterday Buffy Summers was on the list of top ten things to kill in Sunnydale, and she was bloody well not walking around with a pulse." "Couldn't tell it by the wardrobe. Look, analyze later. I need to find a way out of here and back to where I belong. If you're a Watcher, you're Knowledge Guy. Find me a rabbit hole to fall down back to my own universe, where I can get back to slaying -- " People like you. " the bad guys." "I'm not that kind of a Watcher," Spike said. "I'm more the physical trainer. You'll need to speak to the boss." Buffy looked at Drusilla, impressed and amazed. "Wait, you've got a staff? How come I don't have a staff?" Drusilla's eyes flicked briefly behind her, narrowed, and she smiled. A full-frontal Drusilla smile, just the way she'd been when about to kill or maim. It gave Buffy a serious wig. And then Dru attacked. Instincts were not Buffy's friend instead of ducking she braced herself to fight but Spike tackled her out of the way just as Drusilla drop-kicked a vampire who'd lunged out of the darkness. Buffy landed hard and saw stars; she felt Spike roll her over on her back and said hotly, "Again, ow!" "Get up," Spike said. "We need to get out of here, we're too close to the nest." "Nest?" "The Master's lair. Or don't you have a bloody Master Vampire back home?" "Did," she answered, and blinked back double images. "Pretty much smoked him." Spike gave her an appraising look stopping, again, at the corset for just a second too long. "What? Never seen a Slayer in vampwear before?" she snapped. He grinned, and she caught the edge of his charm something he'd always had even as a bloodsucking fiend, unfortunately. "Can't imagine Dru in it, myself." "Never think you're not lucky." Buffy fought her way to her feet and had to duck again as Drusilla's latest victim sailed over their heads to smash violently against a stone wall. Dru was there before he could fall down, stake in hand. Buffy winced at the war cry. Great. Another Slayer who took too much happy from killing. What was more interesting, though, was that Spike was wincing, too. He moved toward Dru carefully, coming up slowly, and even so she whipped around with the stake held high, that glow in her eyes. He spoke to her gently, the way you'd speak to a Rottweiler on guard duty, and finally put his hand on her shoulder. She was vibrating all over. Slayer or not, Dru was a quart low in this universe, too. There was something very sad about that. "Let's go," Spike said, and reached back to grab Buffy by the elbow. She made herself ungrabbable. "Fine. Wait here, we'll fetch back what's left at a later date." "Just don't handle me." Spike frowned slightly and shrugged. He took Drusilla's arm instead, and led them down the tunnel. Well, Buffy thought. It could be worse. And, shortly, it was. If there was no hope, at least there was the dry, sterile comfort of duty. Giles packed a bag at the library and drove to the Summers house. He had no real expectation of finding Buffy there, but it was a logical place to begin, and he was a logical man. He couldn't afford to be an emotional one, not to face what he knew was coming for him. After a thorough search, he failed to turn up any sign of her. Even so, he revoked her invitation to the house and sealed all the doors and windows with garlic and crucifixes before going on to his next destination. Willow's parents were, as usual, out of the country. He found the Rosenberg house locked tight and once he'd gained entry nevertheless reassuringly empty. He reviewed Willow's spells to be sure they were properly done and went on to the Harris household. Where he found what he was looking for. Or, rather, it found him. Buffy sat on the branch of a winter-stripped tree outside of Xander's house, perched on a limb far above the ground. Her golden hair spilled pale over her shoulders and fanned like China silk the wind, and it struck him unprepared how very beautiful she was, how very very young. The sight of her made his heart freeze and shatter. "Been waiting for you," she said without even glancing down at him. "Did you miss me?" He backed away as she dropped lightly the twenty feet or more to the grass and strolled casually in his direction. "Hey," she said. "I was starting to think nobody loved me around here -- " She must have sensed his horror and despair. Her smile faded, and just for a second he saw doubt in her eyes. And fear. And then something like devastation, as if she'd caught a glimpse of her own personal tragedy. He didn't trust himself to speak to her. He took his large silver cross from his jacket pocket and held it out between them. It was a foolish thing, but he still had a second of hope, a second in which he was blindly sure Joyce had been mistaken, and Buffy would wrinkle her brow and toss some offhand remark, and it would all be all right, thank God. He cried out when Buffy's eyes blazed red and her face deformed. As his last bit of hope burned to ash. "Fine. We'll do it hard," she snapped, and leaped for him. He twisted aside, barely able to avoid her, and tried to keep the cross between them. With his other hand he fumbled for a stake. "You're kidding, right?" she said, and took another step toward him. "Gee, Giles, after all we've meant to each other? What about all the good times? What about all those hot nights you spent thinking about me, dreaming about me cute old guy like you had to have a few thoughts about it -- " "Stop!" He choked back sick rage. It was the demon, searching for a way to get under his guard, he had to remember that. It might use Buffy's voice, but it was not Buffy speaking. "Let me help you, Buffy. Please." "Ooo, pass," she said. "Don't need that staking kind of help. But thanks for playing our home game." She lunged and knocked the cross away. He tried to bring the stake up between them but she was horrifyingly strong, the strength of a Slayer and a vampire, the worst of all possible evils. It was why he was sworn on his immortal soul to kill her if she turned. And if he failed, it was why the Watcher Council would expend every last member in seeing that it was done. She slapped his defenses away as if he were no more than a child, grabbed him and wrenched his neck to one side. He felt her cold lips against his flesh and knew he was seconds away from death. Strangely, all he felt was regret regret and a little anger. Things should have been so very different. It wasn't his life that flashed before his eyes, but hers, all the rich life she should have had, all the love and kindness. All wasted now. All destroyed. He should have done a better job, kept her safer. It was his duty A sharp agony bit into him, and he felt his knees buckle. The sensation was incredibly horrible, a violation unlike anything he could have imagined, and he half-fainted from it as strength and resolution fled. This was not the seduction some people imagined it, this was a terrible rape of spirit and body. He was being eaten alive, silently screaming. With all he knew, how had he ever underestimated vampires so bitterly? Had he imagined this might be a relatively kind death, slipping quietly into darkness? There could be nothing harder than this. Through fading eyes, he saw a stark pale face regarding him over Buffy's shoulder. Xander Harris stood empty-handed, struck speechless for once, and Giles felt a black wave of despair. He couldn't stop her. She'd slaughter him, fall on Xander, and Willow, Cordelia, Oz his failure would mean all their lives. "Buffy?" Xander faltered, and in his voice was all the horror, all the pain Giles couldn't allow himself to feel. "Oh no. No, this isn't happening." She dropped Giles. He gagged and coughed and flailed weakly for the wooden stake as Buffy turned toward the boy. Xander was tall, deceptively strong and lithe, but against a Slayer and a vampire he might as well have been a toddling child. He wouldn't stand a chance ... and yet he didn't run. He backed away as Buffy turned toward him, and fear glittered damp in his eyes, but he didn't run. How much courage did that take, Giles wondered. He knew he couldn't have managed it at eighteen. He was only barely managing it at more than twice Xander's age. He couldn't allow this to happen, even thought it would mean throwing himself into the terrible darkness from which Xander had rescued him. Better he die than allow Buffy to prey on her friends. His children, or the nearest to it he might ever come. Xander wet his lips nervously, one hand held out as if he was planning to fend Buffy off foolish hope and said, "Uh, Giles, maybe you better book. Now." "Yeah, that's better. Just the two of us," Buffy purred. She was turned away from him, but Giles knew she'd reverted to Buffy's face, the face that Xander had nearly worshipped for the past three years. "You and I need to have a little quality time, Xander. You won't believe the things I can show you." "Actually, yeah, I would." He tried to smile but it looked sick and terrified. "Ah, God, Buffy. Who did this to you? Angel? Was it Angel?" The name made her miss a step, a fact Giles filed for reference as he stood up, the stake held tightly in his right hand. Perhaps she wasn't ready to face Angel, then. Perhaps that might be the answer. Could he ask Angel to face this? Could he ask anyone, even himself? God, he felt so hideously weak, so terribly empty. No one should know these things. "Foreplay's over," Buffy said. In the instant before she leaped for Xander, Giles threw the stake, end over end, a hard, accurate throw just as he'd taught Buffy to do it. The problem was he was a wounded mortal man, not a Slayer, and though the wood thudded home in Buffy's chest, it was high and to the right. Not fatal. Oh, God. God help us all. She screamed and fell, writhing, and her screaming went on, and on, tearing his heart like a sun-rotted curtain in spite of what he knew. Giles stopped himself before he could rush to her side, took a firmer grip on the crucifix and somehow managed to grab hold of Xander before the boy could take the bait. Xander stopped, shivering. "Don't," Giles said, his voice gone rough and thin. "It's not Buffy." "She's hurt!" "No, damn it!" Giles shook Xander hard. "It's a trick!" The screaming dissolved into laughter, rich, cruel laughter. Buffy the thing that had been Buffy reached behind her back and pulled, extracting the stake as if it were no more than a splinter. She tossed the stake idly in the air, spinning it the way she always did when bored. Giles pivoted to keep the cross between them. He was watching for it, but even so he almost missed the sudden uncoiling throw. Giles lunged, blocked the thrown stake with the crucifix. The effort made him sway drunkenly toward unconsciousness, but Xander held him upright. She'd been trying for Xander's heart. "That was cheap," Giles said raggedly. "And beneath you. It's me you want to punish, not him." "Exactly," she said. "And nothing's beneath me, Giles. Except maybe you, when I get down to business. But I guess you'd enjoy that, wouldn't you?" He willed himself to say nothing. It was hideously hard to stare into those eerie metallic eyes, into that face that he loved so much, and not at least let some of his rage show. But he managed. There was no other choice. "Boring," she sighed. And then she was gone, as if she'd melted into darkness. Giles held still for several breaths until he was sure, then let go of Xander's arm. He knew from the ragged rhythm of Xander's breath that the boy was crying, but he didn't know what to do to comfort him. Hold him? An impossibility, for Xander as well as himself. A man of his age didn't cradle an eighteen-year-old boy, no matter how much one might wish to take away the pain. He didn't mean to but suddenly he found himself sitting on the grass, miserably weak and on the verge of tears himself. Practicalities, then. Always practicalities. "Did Joyce call you?" Giles asked. Xander gulped air and nodded. "Then what the devil are you doing out here in the dark? Didn't you realize how dangerous it was?" "I couldn't I had to see for myself." Xander squatted next to him. "You okay?" "Yes." It was a lie, of course, but one did lie to children in times like these, didn't one? Pretend strength when the heart was rotten with terror? "I must ask you to go to Cordelia's house, Xander. You shouldn't be a part of this." "You're going to kill her," Xander said. His voice shook uncontrollably. Of course, he would work it out Xander had always been the quickest of his peers at things like that. Brighter than his grades reflected, or than he wished to appear. "Like any other vampire." "Hardly." Giles retrieved the stake from where it lay on the grass. "She's a great deal worse than any other vampire." With Xander's help, managed to regain his feet. He held the boy's arm a moment longer, searching Xander's face, and in that unguarded moment, his heart. "Protect them," Giles said. "If things go badly promise me you'll protect the others. I shall depend on you." Xander swallowed and nodded. Giles squeezed his arm. "Then I'll see you later," he said. He desperately hoped that it was true. "Wait," Buffy said, and braced herself against a slick concrete wall, breathing hard. They were in the utility tunnels somewhere God knew where, she'd lost track miles ago and they'd been running for a long time. No problem for Slayer Girl, of course. Drusilla was cruising in indestruct-o mode. Buffy had a sudden flash of insight about how not-fun it must be for her friends tagging along on all those running and fighting gigs. Spike was tired, too sweat darkened his shirt and gleamed on his face but he didn't slow down for her. "Can't stop," Spike said hoarsely. "They're on the move. Stay here and we're transfusions with legs. Keep up or get sucked." "Let her rest." Drusilla had come to a stop, not even breathing hard; she cocked her head and listened. "I don't hear them. I think they've taken a wrong turn." "Bloody well hope so, or it's free sample night at the blood bank," Spike said, and sank down to a sitting position. Buffy joined him. "Tired?" "Nah. Exhausted." Spike smiled. "Yeah, well. Dru's a tough one to follow, don't take it to heart. You're not half bad, considering." "Considering I was doing it in four-inch heels? Thanks." Buffy reached down and unzipped the red leather boots, wiggled out of them and stretched her sore feet gratefully. Spike pretended not to notice. "Getting tired is a new fun for me. A not entirely fun new fun." "I can see your point." Spike took a deep breath and held it, then let it out explosively. "Good news is, we're only a bit away from home now. Won't be long and we can sort all this out." Drusilla had taken up her pacing again, a nervewracking back-and-forth like a tiger in a cage. She was still watching Buffy with those big dark eyes. It's a territory thing. I'm in her space. But then she read it like a teenager, not a Slayer. I'm sitting across from Spike wearing fishnets and black leather. Oh. Point taken. No way to look demure when dressed out of the Fredrick's catalog, but Buffy edged away from Spike. Drusilla's pacing lessened in speed. She finally stopped and listened, then moved off down the hallway. "Dru?" Spike called after her. "I'm just looking," she said. "I'll come back." He watched her go, brow furrowed, real worry in his eyes. Buffy said, "So you and Drusilla, the two of you are " "Not," he said sharply and just a tad too quickly. "I'm her Watcher, just as you said. Watcher means I watch, not touch. Besides, Dru needs guidance. She's " "Crazed," Buffy murmured. Spike glared at her. "Sorry." "She's fragile, our Dru. Hell of a Slayer, though. It's just the pressure gets to her after a bit, she needs rest." "Then you don't love her." She hit the nerve, and they both knew it. Spike looked away. "If I did," he said, "I couldn't very well do anything about it, could I? She's got enough on her mind without worrying about that. I help her. I train her. I keep her as safe as I know how. That's what a Slayer needs, not schoolboy crushes." "You know, I really didn't come here to play Dr. Ruth, but in my Sunnydale, you and Dru, you're " Twisted? Sick? Codependent? " good for each other." In a really disturbing sort of way. "Yeah?" She had his interest for a second. "Pity this isn't your Sunnydale, then. So what's the story on your side? If you're not fighting the Master anymore, who are you fighting?" She gave him pretty much the entire autobiography even up to the mirror and the rabbit hole. Didn't intend to, not really, but she needed to tell somebody, and frankly Willow wasn't the best audience right now, with that vampire look she had going. Or Xander, God only knew what she'd find when she got to Xander. The mind blew at the prospect. "So," she finished, "this mirror thing, ringing any bells for you? Because I'm definitely certain it was a mirror deal. Hence the reverse factor and the bad clothes." Spike had a strange glazed look on his face. He had to blink several times to focus on her again. "I'm a vampire?" He sounded half-thrilled with the idea. "Well, that's a twist, innit? Me and Dru, vampires. And doing well at it. And Angel " His face closed up, as if he remembered she was there. She felt a cold stab of panic. "Angel?" she prompted. Spike looked briefly, impersonally uncomfortable. "Sorry, love, but he's dead." A world without Angel. That sounded horribly empty to her, and yet it was at the same time a relief. If she'd seen him here, human and alive, that might have destroyed her heart forever. Just the promise of having a day with him, a night with the touch of his hands and without the fear, without the awareness of what they were risking But it wouldn't happen. Not here. Be realistic. Not anywhere. "He ran foul of the Master," Spike said. "He was helping Dru, but he traded his life for hers. Heard he lasted a long time, too, before they staked him." "Staked him? But if everything's reversed " Everything but Angel, caught halfway. Flip the world, and he was still in the middle, a vampire and a human at once. Poor lovely Angel. She closed her eyes at the thought of what the Master must have done to him. "Up." Drusilla's voice floated back down the corridor. "It's clear, we should be moving now." Buffy climbed to her bare feet and winced at the chill on sore skin. The boots lay there like shed skin. She started to leave them, then went back and tossed them over her shoulder. "Like the boots, eh?" Spike said archly. She sent him an oh please. "Might come in handy." "Doubt we'll get to clubbing, love, but by all means." They ran on into the darkness. Willow was deeply in denial, and it made Oz ache to see it. He did everything she asked even the drops of blood for the Witchlight spell she'd conjured up but he knew it was just a matter of time before Willow admitted what they all knew. Buffy was gone. And she was not coming back. "Oz," Willow said; she was preoccupied, focused the way she got when faced with a crisis. She was completely cute when she did that. "I'm going to need some toadroot. You know, the squiggly kind? The one that smells like spoiled meat?" "Spoiled meat, coming up," he said. He went to her big floppy satchel and rummaged through jars and neatly labeled baggies, came up with one and took a cautious sniff. Yep. Definitely back-of-the-refrigerator. As he came back to her he said, gently, "Willow " "Um, I need to concentrate on this." She sent him a quick glance full of apology, and fear. She didn't want to hear any bad news about Buffy. He totally knew the feeling. "I love you," he said. She blinked, caught off guard, and it jumped between them like a shower of sparks, that heat that made him half-crazy with anticipation. Down, boy. He wanted to reach for her, but he contented himself with touching her hair, running his finger gently down her cheek. She kissed him. Not a blow-off kiss, not a leave-me-alone-and-let-me-work-my-spell kiss. A real serious kiss that came up from her toes and blasted down through his, stopping to light a few fires along the way. He managed to turn it gentle and lingering, and wanted to kiss her again when she whispered, "Buffy's going to be all right." "I know," he whispered back. Want turned to need. He was kissing her again when he heard a disgusted sound behind him and looked back to see Cordelia hanging in the doorway, looking every inch her own personal Barbie, complete with fun fashion accessories. In her case, it was a designer cross and a couple of lacquered chopsticks she'd used for hairpins as good as stakes at close range. She shot them both a withering look. "If you two are finished grieving, I need you to give me a hand in here," she said. "And don't touch anything, okay? My dad is going to totally wig when he finds out I loaned out the office." Oz handed Willow the toadroot and turned back to Cordelia. "Problem?" "Hello, where were you when we got the syllabus? Buffy vampire, us dead?" Cordelia billed herself as the steel-plated fashion bitch, but mostly that was just good marketing. Oz had always seen the scared girl behind the glossy finish. And she was scared now, it made her move too fast, snap too hard. "I need you to talk to Xander." She walked out of the office. Oz followed her and shut the door to let Willow use stinky roots in private. "If you want me to referee, I need a striped shirt and a whistle." He meant, was she fighting with Xander again. It was the normal state of Xander-Cordelia relations since the declaration of the not-in-love war. She caught the reference. "Not that. I just need somebody to talk to him," she said. She looked up and down the plush elegant hallway and scuffed a toe in the teal-blue carpet. Oz leaned on a narrow piece of wall lacking expensive art. "Because he's not talking." "To you?" "To anybody." Cordy's dark eyes flashed up to meet Oz's. "He's been quiet since he got here. It's it's not normal. For Xander. For you, sure, you could sit there like Yoda Yoda's the fat gold guy, right?" "Buddha." "Whatever. You could sit there and zen out and nobody would think anything. Well, I wouldn't. But Xander " She studied Oz closely. "You understand? You'll talk to him?" He nodded, shoved his hands in his pockets, and strolled past a couple of Picasso sketches he knew they were Picassos because Cordelia had made sure to point them out into the withdrawing room. In which the rest of the Scooby gang waited. Mrs. S. was asleep on the red-and-gold striped sofa, covered with a thick blanket. She was dreaming. Not a good dream, from the whimpering. Xander stood at the windows, looking out at nothing but a big slice of darkness. Oz walked up beside him and stopped, shared the view for long enough that Xander said, "Cordy send you?" "Uh huh." "I'm okay." There was no way Xander was okay. Oz heard it in his voice. There were probably things to say in situations like this, things they taught you in college or middle age, but Oz didn't know any. And he'd long ago learned that when he didn't know, it was better not to say anything. Sooner or later, somebody would speak up and make it unnecessary. "I saw her," Xander said. His voice shook, and it sounded suspiciously cloudy, with a strong possibility of tears. "I wish I hadn't. I wish I hadn't seen her like that. She looked like Buffy but what she did what she said --" "Scary," Oz said. Xander nodded. "Willow's on top of the spell thing." "Yeah, Will's Will's good. That'll be " Xander's voice faded out as if somebody had turned down his hope knob. "That'll be something to try." Oz waited. Xander pulled down a shuddering breath. "I love her, you know." "Willow?" Oz asked it with no particular heat, but he saw Xander flinch. "No! I mean, yes, of course, but not in a full-contact kind of way. Anymore. You know. I meant Buffy. I love Buffy." "Full contact?" Xander considered it as if he never had before. And said, with something like wonder, "No. Color me wacky, but no. But I'd die for her." "Yeah," Oz said simply. "I don't mean in principle. I mean in a throw-myself-on-a-bullet kind of way." Oz nodded. He was tired of looking at the dark he had the feeling it might be looking back so he turned to face Xander directly. Xander looked bad. Pale, shaky, definitely not in full smart-ass mode. He looked more alone than Oz had ever seen him. Deep inside Oz was scared pretty often once a month, for sure, when he felt the wolf thing coming on him, when every human thing he was or knew drained out of him but he'd learned how to bury all that where others didn't see. Xander didn't have that skill. Oz had never been big on having friends. In his experience friends usually asked a lot and gave a little, and he'd always felt like there was something more important waiting for him than hanging at the drive-through or downing beers with the jocks. At first being part of Buffy's crowd had been a chance to get to know Willow, but then he'd seen what was going on. And he'd known this was what he was waiting for. This cause, these people. These friends he he'd learn to love. He remembered, for no particular reason, that Xander was always there for Wolf Watch when Oz was just a hairy beast in a cage, capable of anything. And whether or not they both loved Willow in a non-brotherly sort of way, that counted. "Dying won't help," Oz said. "Not last time I checked. Giles is looking for her. Willow's spellcasting. Cordelia's hosting, which is good, 'cause she's pretty much got the snack thing going. You and me, we just need to coast for a while." "Coast. Yeah. I'm not that good with the coasting." "Then I'm your native guide." Xander smiled. One thing, Oz had always noticed; guys did not spend a lot of time smiling at each other. It sometimes got misinterpreted. But this was an smile not subject to misinterpretation, and he smiled back. "Take the lead, bwana," Xander said. They were on their third straight game of Name That Bad Japanese Movie when Xander suddenly stopped and said, "Angel." "Sorry, wrong answer," Oz said, and then got where Xander was going. "Didn't you call him?" "Didn't you?" Oz felt cold, suddenly. He looked at Xander and said, "Better do it now." Buffy had been expecting to come up at the high school, of course, but when she climbed out of the manhole with no help from Drusilla she found they were standing in a deserted alley she recognized. Halfway across town. About a block from the Bronze. "Move. It's not safe," Spike said. Drusilla had already taken off. Buffy moved, her feet slapping pavement in rhythm with Spike's as she scanned rooftops. Slayer habit. Vamps came from anywhere and everywhere, and you just had to be prepared. "Shit!" Spike yelled, and went down with a vamp attached to his back. He slid face-down along the pavement for five or six feet and rolled over, trying to shake his rider. Ahead, the slender shadowed form of Drusilla stopped running and started back, but dark shapes dropped down and popped up. The fight was on. Buffy waded in and grabbed a handful of vamp hair, yanked hard. That, and a well-placed kick to the vamp's midsection separated him from Spike, but that was not a big improvement, except for Spike. She retreated when the vamp turned on her, landed a couple of strikes and a kick, then fell back again. Moonlight fell on his face. Oz. She'd been expecting Bad Xander, somehow, but Bad Oz she couldn't get her mind over it. He looked like her Oz, all right, even to the dyed hair, but the look on his face, the shine in his eyes well, it was bad. Plain bad. And she really didn't want to hurt him. Spike rolled, came up to one knee, and delivered a stake perfectly on target. Oz, leaping for her with fangs gleaming, exploded in a shower of dust. Buffy watched what was left of him blow away with a strange sense of numbness, then snapped back to here-and-now as Spike grabbed her by the shoulder and pushed her toward Drusilla. Oh, God, Oz Dru finished with the last of her attackers and spun back into a run. They made it to the doors of the Bronze without any more jumpings, and just as they did, the doors rattled and swung open. It took Buffy a second to recognize the man holding the door, because he had lines on his face and weariness in his eyes, and he was wearing a neat dark suit. Drusilla passed him without a second glance, and so did Spike. As the light dawned, Buffy came to a stop in the doorway and locked eyes with Ethan Rayne. Ethan Rayne, master of chaos and mayhem, former friend of Giles, who'd nearly fed her to a demon once or twice just on general principles. That Ethan Rayne. "Buffy," he said. "I'm glad to see you." She punched him in the face. "Thanks," she snapped. "Likewise. Now get me the hell out of here." He staggered back, one hand pressed to his mouth. Spike started to get in the middle, but Ethan waved him off and wiped blood from the corner of his mouth. "Nice shot," he said. "For a girl. I'm afraid I can't send you home quite yet. Not until you do what I brought you here to do." It occurred to her, several seconds too late, that this Ethan Rayne was probably the opposite of the one on her side. Not a vamp, though. Some other kind of opposite. He was Drusilla's senior Watcher. Therefore a good guy. Another mind-boggler. "You brought me here," she said, fist still cocked. Ow. It felt like her knuckles were full of broken glass. Wouldn't stop her from hitting him again, though. "Why?" "I had no choice. We need you to help us stop the Master from opening the Hellmouth." Ethan shut the door of the Bronze behind her and locked it. "Mocha? I can whip one up for you." "Excuse me? Hellmouth? Been there, had to die to do it. Not interested in a rematch. Besides, you've got your own Slayer, why import?" The Bronze was eerily the same, trashily cool, lit right now by harsh spotlights. Drusilla sat under one near the stage, inventorying a load of crossbows and stakes. Spike disappeared toward the bathrooms. She couldn't help thinking how come they get the cool clubhouse and I get the musty old library? Weird how Ethan looked like Giles now. No glasses, but some of the same crow's feet, the lived-in look that made Giles so easy to trust. The same warmth in his eyes, like he really cared about what went on around him. Definitely not her Ethan, who would have sold her to the vamps at a dollar a bite for no better reason than the entertainment value. "I discovered the existence of other universes several years ago," Ethan said, and walked over to the coffee bar, where he took down cups and saucers. "About the same time my counterpart on your side was messing about with forces he really couldn't control. We had some interesting chats through our mirrors, but nothing too informative. Since then, I've been following your career your Sunnydale with great interest. Many of your problems get echoed here, and seeing how you deal with them has always been helpful." "I feel an 'except' creeping up," Buffy said. "Except for Dru. She's unquestionably the Chosen One, but fragile. I was lucky to find Spike and make him her companion " "Based on my Sunnydale again." Ethan nodded. "Having him with her has helped. Not enough, but some. And then, a month ago, Drusilla was captured by the Master. Angel traded his life for hers, but not soon enough, I fear; she endured some tremendous abuse. She's coming apart. All of Spike's best efforts to help her are unraveling, and soon she won't be able to function at all. A mad Slayer is worse than none." He said it matter-of-factly, but Buffy read between the lines. Watcher or not, this Ethan felt something for his Slayer, the way Giles felt for her. And he was hurting. "She held together okay out there," Buffy said. Praising Drusilla felt weird. "I told Spike maybe she needed him to be something more than just her Watcher. Romance-wise. Hope I didn't break any big Watcher codes." "As a matter of fact " "Well, oops. Whatever." Ethan mixed mochas with silent efficiency, adding a dollop of whipped cream, a sprinkle of chocolate and cinnamon. She took the cup and sipped. It was sweet and dark and perfect. "I need you to help," Ethan said. "If we fail now, our world falls to the vampires. We have to stop them, and it must be soon. Tonight. The Master is very close to achieving his freedom." "Look, nice plan, but this transfer thing, it left my Slayer powers along with my wardrobe. I'm just Buffy Summers, girl adventurer. Not what you need." She watched Ethan's face as he took a sip of his own drink. "Right? So you can send me back." "No." "No? I don't think I liked the no part of that answer." She reached out and wrapped her hand around his throat. Even human, she was pretty strong. "Think fast." He broke free, but she noticed the red marks on his throat and felt a flush of satisfaction. It was always good to keep Ethan Rayne any Ethan Rayne off balance. Because as sorcerer or Watcher, he was likely to have bigger things on his mind than the safety of Buffy Summers. "No," he repeated. "We have a plan. And we need you to carry it out, Slayer or not. If all goes well, you won't need your Slayer powers in any case. The element of surprise will be all that's necessary." Buffy hadn't heard Spike return, but he pulled up a stool next to her and reached for Ethan's mocha, which he gulped down with evident satisfaction. Ethan glared. "But when does everything go well, my lovely?" Spike asked. "Tell her the truth." Ethan said, "We want to send you inside to the Master. Buffy Summers was one of his favorite vampires. Your face and clothes will make sure you can get close enough to kill him without anyone suspecting." Drusilla had gotten up from the weapons table and was wandering the club now, whispering to herself. Buffy kept an eye on her as she said, "Uh, I hate to be the bringer of bad, but you have noticed that I'm not a vampire? Hence not trustworthy to vamps anymore?" "I have a spell that will give you the outward appearances," Ethan said. "You'll be indistinguishable from the Buffy Summers they know. The Master himself won't be able to tell you're not Undead. All you have to do is find him and kill him, and go home." "That part sounds weak." "Not so," Ethan said. "In fact, it's built into the spell. Kill the Master, you go home. Automatically." Buffy pushed her cooling mocha aside. "And if I say no?" Ethan Rayne smiled, and it was exactly his counterpart's smile, all delight, no mercy. "Then I expect you'll have to learn to like this world," he said. "And live with the idea that our Buffy Summers has taken your place in your own." The thought froze her in place, then made her explode with rage. "A vampire? You set a vampire me to Sunnydale? With my friends? Into my house?" "And the faster you do your job, the sooner that can be over," Ethan said. "Choose." As if there was a choice involved. As if she could believe a thing he said. Spike was very carefully not looking at her, and she thought that there must have been a very good reason. "I'm going to need some tools," she said. "And when this is over, you're going to need major medical." Angel paused in the act of towel-drying his hair to listen. Something had changed in the house, something he couldn't quite identify. Air pressure, maybe. A door opening and closing. A telephone was ringing somewhere, but even as he pinpointed the sound, it vanished. Why did these things always happen when you were in the bathroom? One of the great mysteries of life. He picked up his pants from the floor and stepped into them, draped the towel around his neck, and opened the bathroom door to take a look outside. Buffy was standing beside the huge blazing fireplace, soaking up the warmth the way she liked to do. He thought about stopping to put on his shirt, since the emergency was over, but part of him didn't want to. She might touch his skin, if he gave her the opportunity. And that was the kind of thing that made continuing his life worthwhile. "Hey," he said, and walked out to join her. "I didn't expect you." "Nobody called?" she asked. He was still a few feet away when the wrongness hit him. He should have felt the heat of her skin at this distance, heard the whisper of her breath and heartbeat, smelled the warm human perfume of her. She was gone. She turned to look at him, and he saw it in her eyes. Or rather, he saw what was missing from her eyes. He saw the void where her soul had been. "No," he said. The word sounded raw, scraped bloody out of him. "Oh God." "People say that a lot," Buffy said. "It's getting old. God must be tired of hearing it by now." "What " His voice didn't seem to want to work right. "What happened to you? Who did this to you?" "You did," she said. "Long time ago. Oh, come on, Angel, don't be like that. We can have it good here. Angel and Buffy burning up the town. Together. Together forever, the way you always wanted us to be. All we have to do is do what we want to do." She came closer, moved him back to the cold stone wall, and in spite of everything he knew, every horror he felt, she was still Buffy, and his body still knew it. He shuddered when she touched him, and it went through his mind in a mad screaming rush that he really could have her now, no guilt, no risk, no pain. She put her hands on him to prove it, and for a blind endless time he let himself give in to that, to the pressure of her lips on his, the soft stroke of her skin. And then he felt the pressure of her canines against his lips, and sanity came back. He shoved her off, hard. She laughed and wiped her mouth. She had Drusilla's eyes, he realized. The eyes of something that was no longer human, and no longer sane. "Too bad, Angel," she said. "You had your chance. Now I'm going to destroy you with the rest. Because I may be a vampire, but I'm still the Slayer." "Take the shot if you have to, but I'm not going to let you do this. Not to your friends. Not to your mother. If I have to stop you, I will." She clapped her hands mockingly and blew him a kiss. "Then let's do it," she said, and came at him. Oh, God, she was fast. Maybe twice as fast as he was. And it didn't take long for her to put him down. Glad I saved the boots, Buffy thought as she dropped down into the darkness. She'd been walking for half an hour already but she hadn't seen any vamps some dead humans, drained and tossed like empty juice boxes but she was nearing the Master's caverns, and it shouldn't be long now. Why is there never a bloodsucker around when you need one? Not that she was eager-beaver. Ethan had cast his spell of Whatchamcallit, but she hadn't felt any effects. That made it hard to stir up any real confidence for this whole plan, but Spike had told her she was vamped, and he ought to know. Drusilla hadn't said anything, but the way she'd been handling the stake made Buffy figure Ethan might have done his job. Still, the test was going to be on another vampire. And she only had one stake, and no cross. "Buffy!" Willow. Goth-Will came out of a side tunnel, looking exotic and weirdly beautiful, and threw her arms around Buffy. Hugging? Vampires hugged? Buffy returned the gesture with a couple of pats thrown in, and watched closely as Willow pulled away. Nothing but trust in that pale face, those bright eerie eyes. "Buffy, I was worried! You know you're not supposed to go off alone, he's been asking for you and I didn't know what to tell him. It wasn't the Slayer again, was it?" "Well, uh, yeah, but I took care of it." Willow's eyes widened. "You did?" "Not permanently. But I threw them off. So here I am. Ready to go." Past ready. Please, let's get this over. "You look hungry," Willow said sympathetically. "No chance to snack? Okay, let's get back home. I think Xander brought extra." Alexander Harris, walking dead. Buffy bit her lip at the idea and followed Willow down the tunnel to where the caves began. Vamps everywhere, here, calling out casual hellos, nodding as she passed. She counted twenty or more before Willow took a turnoff and they followed the little winding path down toward the Master's hellhole. Xander dropped down in front of her. Buffy's heart turned over at the sight of him. Xander still grinned, but it was a skull-grin, all the humor burned away. The only thing this Xander was likely to find funny was pain. His eyes were glossy and dead. "Yo," he said, and pulled Buffy into his arms. Another hug? She yelped in spite of herself when he squeezed her ass and kissed her. Tongue kiss with Vampire Xander. Not in the playbook. She managed to squirm out of his hold and resisted the urge to spit and wipe her mouth. Xander licked his lips and grinned. "Xander," Willow said reprovingly. "She's hungry. Stop teasing." Xander glanced at Will with smoking eyes, and it made Buffy cold to realize that it wasn't just her that turned him on, it was Will too, and probably anybody else. Xander was a walking pit of hunger that would never be filled up. "In that case, let me get you a table at Chez Xander," he said, and reached behind a stalagmite to pull out a middle-aged guy. He could have been her father, or even Giles, though thank God he wasn't. His mouth and wrists were fastened with duck tape. "Drink up, Buffy." He shoved the guy at her. Buffy caught him and weighed the options. She wasn't the Slayer here. She wanted to save the man, but she'd never make it back to the tunnels with him. Not with Xander at her back. But she couldn't couldn't just walk away Something cold fell across her like a shadow, and she saw Xander's face go even paler. Willow winced. Buffy felt a hand fall on her shoulder and knew she'd found what she'd been sent to do. A low, seductive voice whispered at her ear, "I've been waiting for you." She turned and looked at the Master. She was so stunned, so devastated she hardly even heard Xander say, "Guess you're not hungry," and bite into his victim. "Buffy," Giles said. His voice got inside her, did things. Made her feel things she didn't want to feel. Rupert Giles. Master Vampire. "Does this hurt?" Angel screamed as holy water ate a hole in his chest, exposing muscle like damp pale rope. Buffy smiled and filled up the eyedropper again. This time, she climbed on top of him, her weight pressing down on his groin. Drusilla had done this once, he remembered, half delirious. Chained him up and played her sick little games But Drusilla he could understand. He'd made Dru what she was, and the pain was deserved. The horror of it coming from Buffy was mind-numbing. For the first time he really understood what she'd felt when he had changed to Angelus and tormented her, taken her love and destroyed her with it. He'd wanted to kill her when she'd first chained him down here in the dark and brought out her toys. Now he only wished he could die. Buffy slapped him back conscious. He'd drifted off into a gray calming fog, but she was holding a knife now, and that frightened him. That, and the look in her eyes. "You know, you're more fun than the other one," she said. "It took me days to make him scream." He had no idea what she was talking about, and was sickly afraid to find out. He was even more afraid that one of Buffy's friends might come looking for them, or even her mother. He was in no position to help anybody right now. Maybe if Giles came Then Giles would die. Buffy wouldn't hesitate long over that one. "Buffy " Angel licked dry lips and tried again. "I don't know what happened, but there must be a way we can help you. Change you back. Willow cursed me to bring back my soul, maybe we can do the same for you. All you have to do is let us help you." Buffy's mad smile slipped a little. "I love you," he whispered. "I know you don't want to do this. I love you, Buffy." She cut him. He bit back a scream as his skin split, spilling precious blood. "I love you too," she said. "And we're going to have so much fun. You first, then the others. Especially Giles. I'm going to make him watch. That's what you would have done in the good old days, Angel, isn't it?" She reached for the holy water again. He braced himself for it, and pulled again at the chains holding him. Strong chains. They'd been designed to hold against a vampire's strength, and they were doing their job. He wasn't going to survive this. He wasn't going to want to. He heard the footsteps a second or two before Buffy cocked her head. "We have a visitor," she said, and leaned down to kiss him. Her hair was still the same, warm and silken over his skin. "Should I make him watch this, too?" From the doorway Giles' voice came, soft and deadly, "It's over, Buffy." Buffy smiled. "You think so?" she asked, and moved like a streak of light, too fast for mortal eyes to track. Angel only barely registered her hand reaching out for the crossbow in Giles' hands, her other stretching for his neck. Giles shot her. One bolt, point blank range, through the stomach. Buffy gasped and stopped, grabbing at the wound. She tried to pull the bolt out. Giles shot her again, with the second loaded bolt. This one went in high and to the right of her heart. She screamed then, and dropped to her knees. "You took your time. Unlock me," Angel said. He rattled the chains. "Quick." Giles dropped the crossbow and took the key from the hook on the wall, and turned Angel's right manacle loose, then the left. He dropped the key in Angel's hand as Buffy, still screaming her rage, pulled the bolt out of her shoulder in a spray of blood. Giles pulled out a crucifix and held it in both shaking hands as Buffy snarled at them, red-eyed, faced in a demonic mask. Angel unlocked his feet and stood up facing her. She ripped the second bolt out of her flesh. "Still love me?" she asked him, and came for him. Leather. Buffy had never imagined Giles in leather. She probably would have laughed at the idea. She wasn't laughing anymore, because this lithe, angular, graceful thing that had once been Rupert Giles wore it very well indeed. Tight black pants, a butter-soft black jacket over a silk black shirt. An earring dangled from one ear, a mystic symbol she didn't know but figured could not be good. The endless dark lust in his eyes was powerful enough to consume everything around him, an evil that sucked life from the world, not just people. Next to him, all the other vamps, including Willow and Xander, were just shadows. Kids playing at evil. Giles' hand caressed her face, cold as ice. He took her hand and led her down the path, past Xander and Willow and the crying little girl, down into the dark. Now, Buffy's mind told her. Do it now! Get him in the back, you don't have to look at his face, just do it! But the truth was she was afraid. And she knew without a doubt that he'd be able to stop her the second she made a move. Slayer? That was a laugh. How did you slay this? No wonder Ethan had imported a ringer. Drusilla, even crazy, wasn't mad enough to stand up to this by herself. Around the next corner she saw candlelight. Giles had made his throne room into a fairyland of candles, guttering in pools of wax everywhere she looked; the orange light made him look deceptively Giles-ish, almost human except for his eyes. And the leather. She couldn't look at the leather for very long without getting short of breath. "Sit," Giles said, and pointed to the place. She sat without question. He leaned close, and And kissed her. She'd gagged at Xander's kiss, and she wanted to gag up this one, but she couldn't. It got inside her, found all the unguarded entrances and flooded her with something dark and warm and sticky as spiderwebs. His lips felt cool and soft and gentle, and while half of her mind was screaming you're kissing Giles, break off! she couldn't seem to stop doing it. His hands were all over her, knowing her in ways that even Angel didn't. She hardly even felt the handcuff slip over her wrist until its jaws snapped shut hard enough to pinch. Giles pulled back and sat down across from her. He was smiling as he watched her, and that smile made her burn and freeze at the same time. Dark streak? This Giles didn't have a pale streak. He was the jet-black expressway to Hell. "Did you really think I wouldn't know?" he asked. He still had the same accent, the same voice, only now it seemed deeper, more intimate. "Really, Buffy, what kind of fool do you take me for? I know what Ethan's been up to. Ethan certainly has no secrets from me, not after all the fun we had in our youth." "Giles " "Ripper," he corrected. "I've been Ripper for a long time." He was going to bite her. This talking part, this was foreplay. And she was in very deep trouble. With Slayer strength she could have broken the handcuff, done a nice little drop-kick and planted a stake in his chest, no muss, no fuss, but she didn't have that option anymore. She was handcuffed to a rock, and Ripper was eating her with his eyes. "Do you want to know?" he asked. "How you became a vampire?" "Let me guess. You bit me." "Angel bit you. He used to be a disciple of mine, you see, before his -- conversion. You became one of my very favorite toys, Buffy. And when you brought your friends to me I only valued you more." Ripper's smile disappeared. "You cost me a very valuable servant. I think I'll have to make you take her place." "It's not going to happen that way." She sounded cool and steady, and couldn't think why because she was screaming inside. "Of course it is. It's very brave of you coming here," Ripper continued. "I doubt our Buffy would have ever had the courage, had your positions been reversed. Oh, although I suppose they are reversed, aren't they? Would you like to see?" He tugged a scarf from a mirror. In it, Buffy was killing Angel. She was doing it slowly, one kick at a time, while the other Giles, the real Giles, lay unconscious nearby. Buffy's eyes filled with tears. She blinked them away and said, as quietly as she could, "Well, you're a ball of fun on this side, aren't you?" "I try." Ripper toyed with the scarf, sliding it through his hands as he watched her. He liked her pain. She could feel him thinking about it, wondering how to make it more unbearable. "That other poor bastard turned right when he should have gone left, you know. If he'd followed the path laid out for him by Eygon, he might have become like me. Now he's just a pathetic shell of a man, too afraid of his own feelings to indulge them in the smallest way." "He does okay," Buffy said. "And I never thought I'd say it, but he dresses way better than you. That retro look is over the cliff." He laughed. She hadn't meant it to be funny. "Hold still," he said. She didn't have any warning, but he was all over her again, his hands touching and probing and lingering, and she couldn't throw him off, couldn't stop him. She remembered the Master in her own world crawling inside her head like a fat bloated spider. This spider didn't even care about her mind, but it very much liked her body. Maybe it was the Fredrick's ensemble. She was half-fainting from his touch when he got down to business. He unzipped her corset and found the stake she'd shoved down it. Ripper looked at it critically, shrugged, and tossed it into the darkness where it clattered against rock. The cave smelled like death. Death and rot. Buffy couldn't seem to get her breath. Ethan, Spike, you better not have lied to me. Ripper said, softly, "I hope you appreciate how much I'm going to enjoy this." She took a deep breath. "Really? Me too." She brought up her right foot, lightning-fast, and kicked him. The four-inch spike heel sank deep into his chest. The wooden spike heel. The one she'd asked Spike to put on in place of the regular composition one. Giles' mouth opened in shock, and for a second she saw Rupert in him, not Ripper, the man instead of the monster. That broke her heart. Please die. Please die now, quickly. He did, exploding in a shower of ash that tasted gritty and bitter on her tongue. A small silver key tinkled to the rock. Buffy grabbed for it and unlocked her handcuff. Okay. Any second now. The Master was ash. The Master was ash and she should be going home. Damn it, Ethan Rayne had promised she'd be going home! He'd promised! And you believed him? Why the hell would he tell the truth? You're not even his Slayer! Spike had known she was vamp food. That's why he wouldn't look at her. Oh God. She had to get out of here. And then Willow said, from the shadows, "You're not really Buffy, are you?" Giles came back awake with a snap of terror and pain. Buffy had caught him with a quick, offhanded strike, but it had nearly snapped his neck. He flinched at the meaty thunk of flesh on flesh, and looked up to see Buffy landing another kick to Angel's chest. He went down, boneless and limp, eyes open and still aware. "Get up," she said. Angel didn't breathe, but if he had, he would have been gasping. The pain on his face was unbelievable. And still he got up. It was a parody of his usual grace, more of a lurch than a controlled movement. He hadn't even gotten all the way straight before she launched a roundhouse kick that connected hard with the side of his head. It spun him around, slammed him hard into the wall, and he collapsed again. Buffy stalked him like lion stalking a fallen antelope. "Get up," she said again. "Come on, sweetie. Give me a fight. I need a good fight. You're not in any shape to give me anything else, might as well keep fighting." Giles got to his knees and reached for the stake in his pocket. He didn't dare throw it this time, it was his last, and if he missed Angel's eyes opened. Vampire-red now. His face contorted as the demon in him clawed its way to the surface. Buffy laughed and swung another kick at him. He caught her foot and twisted. The incredible force of it twirled her in mid-air like a toy, and she slammed hard to the floor. Angel dragged her backward, into his grasp. He wouldn't be able to hold her long, but rage gave him a momentary advantage. Giles lunged toward them, then hesitated. Angel pinned Buffy's arms, wrapped her very close against him, and said, "Do it! I'll hold her!" "No!" Buffy shrieked. She nearly pulled free but Angel had greater leverage. He buried his face against her shoulder as Giles raised the stake. Giles could hardly see her through his tears. I can't miss. I owe it to her not to miss. God guide my hand. He drove the stake through Buffy's heart. Willow stepped out of the darkness, her eyes glittering. "Not our Buffy." Willow licked her pale lips. "What are you?" "A Slayer," Buffy sighed. "Where I come from, you're not a vampire either. You're my best friend." Willow looked so very sad. Buffy realized the glitter in her eyes was tears, not rage. Maybe she hadn't loved the Master very much. Maybe living with Demon Giles would have destroyed anybody's good time. Willow took a step toward her. Buffy adjusted her balance. The spike-heeled shoe trick wouldn't work this time, Willow had seen it already. And she didn't want to fight Willow. She really really didn't. "Please," Buffy said. "Don't make me kill you. I don't want to." "Why not?" Willow asked. "I've been wishing somebody would. You came to the school, you know. You took me and Xander to the Master and he hurt me, Buffy, he hurt me so bad --" Her voice trailed off. She looked down at her Goth clothes. Buffy hadn't been wrong. This wasn't Vamp Willow, this was her friend, lost and alone. And Buffy herself had helped do this to her. Ripper, you bastard. I'm glad you're dead. "I'm so sorry, Willow." "Do me a favor, Buffy?" Willow held up the stake that Giles had thrown into the dark. "Will, no." She put it in Buffy's hand. "Just hold it for me," she said, as offhandedly as if she'd given Buffy a stack of books in the library. "I never wanted to be a vampire. I just wanted to be with you and Xander." "Don't -- " Willow's cool hand touched her warm cheek, and Buffy felt tears welling up hot inside. Demon or not, she was still her friend. "It's okay, really," Willow said, and impaled herself on the stake. Her arms went around Buffy, and for a second it was another hug, solid and real, and then Buffy felt the drift of ash stroke her cheek like a soft goodbye. "Goodbye, Will," she whispered. Tears broke free, finally. "I want to go home now. Please let me go, damn it!" No magic working for her. She could try walking out, she supposed, but she had the suspicion that whatever spell Ethan had cast to make her show up Friend on vamp radar was gone. The minute she walked out, Xander would be there. Hungry. She couldn't let that happen. She opened her eyes and looked at the mirror just as Giles her Giles drove a stake through the heart of a vampire named Buffy Summers. She opened her mouth to scream And fell, sucked down the rabbit hole. Angel's arms were full of ash. He sat up slowly without looking at Giles, and the remains of Buffy drifted to the floor like dirty snow. Giles collapsed. He went down on his knees, braced himself with one hand, dirty-pale. The sound he made had no words to it, nothing but raw agony, a primitive animal sound of grief. Angel didn't scream. He'd scream later, he thought. For now, all he could do was wait for her to return, to move, to smile and say his name. He'd be waiting forever for that. No matter how long he lived, he would always be waiting. It occurred to him that Giles still had the stake. Maybe Giles realized he had it at the same time. He looked up at Angel, the sharp wooden point between them, and whispered, "God, no. Don't think it." He threw it away, off into the shadows where it clattered against a wall. It was Angel's turn to make a soft sound of pain. Giles reached out and touched him had Giles ever done that before? and the contact of flesh made it all suddenly too real for both of them. Buffy was dead. They had killed her. Angel said, very softly, "Get your fucking hands off of me." Giles mutely let go. Angel struggled to his feet, bleeding, battered, destroyed in his soul. He looked down at Giles, who was still on his knees as if he might never get up. "Angel " Giles said. Angel snarled, eyes flaring red, face vamping. It felt good to let that rage out. It felt dangerously right. He saw emotion move over Giles' face, and he was glad. Be afraid. Be afraid of what you just did. But Giles' eyes were wet with tears, not fear. And Angel, shuddering with tears he couldn't shed, slowly fought his way back to human. He said, "I can't get through this, Giles. I can't." "She'd want us to. We have to try," Giles said. From the doorway, Buffy said, "Trying is for losers. We're winners. We just do it." They both turned as one to look, stunned, disbelieving. She stood there, bright as an angel, real as flesh. "I'm back," she said. Angel wondered for a heartbeat if he had gone insane, if his mind had snapped under the strain. But Giles had the same expression, of horrified elation. Believing, and not daring to believe. "Buffy?" Angel's lips caressed her name. She came across the floor, walking over the pile of ash that had been a vampire, and went into his arms as if she belonged there. He sagged against her, buried his face in her hair, and for the first time since he'd seen her double's face he began to feel warm. It was all right, then. It would be all right. Buffy turned away from Angel to Giles. He didn't speak -- couldn't, Angel thought -- but wrapped his arms around her and held her tight for long seconds before he took a deep breath and let her go. "How " As if the how was important right now, for now, it was enough that it was. As if he realized it too, Giles shook his head. "Later. We should call Cordelia's house immediately to let them know you're -- you're safe." "We need to stop at my house first. Something I have to do," she said. "Can it wait? Your mother " "No waiting," she said. "I need to break a mirror. There's something I never want to see again -- and neither do you." Giles touched her face, then pressed two fingers to her neck as if he were counting her pulse. No need for that. Angel could hear it beating, steady and regular, tripping faster as Giles touched her. She was also looking at Giles very oddly. "Buffy?" Angel asked. "Anything wrong?" Buffy blushed and shook her head. "You do not want to know." He thought she was very wrong. At the time. But when he later heard the entire tale, over hot tea and a library table, he saw that she was absolutely right. -- end
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